I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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