I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
