it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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