I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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