Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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