Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
