WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
