When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm at about main and main street
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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