you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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