doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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