You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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