I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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