Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize