I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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