New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
