theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
