Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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