Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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