I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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