i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
