babies were throwing up all over the place
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
