Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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