dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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