I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize