so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
