So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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