what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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