apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize