You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
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I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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