Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
