Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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