pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
