loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize