I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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