First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
