sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
