So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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