For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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