He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
