Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
