Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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