The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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