Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
