He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
