seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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