I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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