This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
