Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
