We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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