Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
