it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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