never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
