I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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