their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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