i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
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I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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