the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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