It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So vagazzling was a success
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
