At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Duck Duck Cougar?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
