I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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