the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so let's talk penis.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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