That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Randomize
